The Source

As always, on Fridays I write for my friends at  Sunday Hatch.  Today I'm taking another look at the Mast Brothers Chocolate, and the unique journey of the beans from The Source . . .

Join Us.

A Revolutionary Adventure

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Last night as the Mister and I were getting into bed, I just had a moment of utter despair. It's been creeping up on me. It happens every once in a while: that I reach this boiling point. The point where I can no longer deny my disappointment in myself any longer.

Let's blame the Olympics this time. For the past week I've been sitting on my butt watching hours of NBC coverage on the world's youngest, fastest, fittest, strongest, and most medaled men and women. And here I am, at an aging 27 years, I'm "technically" unemployed, I only have an undergraduate degree, I've done nothing to significantly impact the world, I won't be in anyone's history books, and what's worst... I don't know what I want to do with my life.

In fact, I can't say that I've ever known what I want to do with my life with any real certainty. The first three years of my university studies I spent threatening to switch majors. It wasn't until the fourth year I finally committed. And that year was the best, hands down, without a doubt. I felt like I was on fire. So let's examine the phrase: "what to do with my life." Every day I am really "doing" my life. I am waking, eating, sleeping, repeating day after day after day. But, I'm aspiring to greatness and knowledge without striving for it. I'm expecting results without effort or commitment. I'm wallowing.

In the end, for all four years I studied Theatre in college (a useful degree these days). A complicated concept for a young actor to understand when creating a character is that, unlike what you would image, it's less believable to just "BE" the character and more believable to "DO" what that character would do in any given circumstance. You can't "BE" something just by thinking about it and wishing for it, but you can study and memorize and "DO" all the things that character would do, in order to bring them to life. It is the more active choice, and from the audience's standpoint, action is what it's all about. It's also the harder choice, the one that requires the most work on the actor's part.  If I want to become something, or become someone different than who I am now, I'm going to have to start DOing all those things that person would do.  I can't expect to just become someone over night.  It's going to take time and study, and a lot of hard work.

I have always envied people who seemed so passionate about what they were pursuing. I had so many different interests and ideals for myself, it always seemed like I could never focus in on one long enough to become really, really good at it or to fall completely in love. I always feel like there is a higher calling, something more important that I should be doing all the days of my life, and therefore I always have a difficult time committing to the present. I have no clue what that calling is, but I hear it.  What am I waiting for?

So in my despair last night, I unloaded on my Husband my fears, my desperation for a meaningful life. And the Husband, in all his wisdom, said, "It's cheesy, but I have to say it here: carpe diem! There's no better time. Just do some of those things you want to do, don't be afraid of them, just commit until you can't commit anymore. It doesn't matter if you start the book you've always wanted to write and don't finish it, you'll have learned something about yourself in the process. And you won't regret that you never tried, years from now."

As we both turned to go to sleep, I thought: "Yes, when did I get so DOMESTICATED? So lazy? So uninspired." My final paper in my senior Theatre History class was to write my Personal Philosophy of Theatre. The word I used the most?

Revolutionary.

I wanted to revolutionize the world of theatre. I had big dreams, and I wasn't ashamed of them and I didn't spend time doubting myself. When I quit acting professionally in 2010, I never found something else that made me feel like I was fighting wildly artistic battles with the world every day. I lost that sense of creative empowerment. I think I stopped having inspired FUN.

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These guys. These guys make chocolate in Brooklyn. They are dedicating their lives to making the best chocolate in the world. In the bigger scheme, (despite many suggestions to the contrary) chocolate won't save the world. It won't stop human trafficking. It can't sustain a hungry nation. But chocolate pretty much universally makes people happy. It's delicious, delicate, flavorful, and fun. These guys have fun making their chocolate. Something as simple as chocolate provides them the inspiration to continually follow their curiosity, to explore new concepts, and imagine new projects.

I want you to watch this video before you read any further. (I know, I'm not done yet...) I don't know about you, but this short documentary made me a little teary. In a joyful way. In a "YES, that is so RIGHT!" sorta way. Plus the chocolate looks amazing and the beards are fantastic.

The Mast Brothers from The Scout on Vimeo.

I have a point. Amidst the talk of revolutionary theatre and cacao beans, I do have a point. And I'm sorry. I tried to make this post structured and clean, but there's absolutely nothing structured or clean about art. Art is messy. Messy and fun. At some point I stopped being able to make mistakes, or to laugh at myself and cut my losses and start over. I need to do that again. I need to reconnect with my curiosity. You know, join the revolution. Wherever that takes me. 

THE POINT, is that it doesn't have to be world peace, four PhDs, or an Olympic medal. It can be planning someone's wedding. It can be writing a novel that never gets read. It can be chocolate. Your life just needs to be your own adventure.

"Any idea that makes us nervous or scared that it won't happen, 

we know that we're definitely on to something . . .  

Make it an adventure."

Wedding-Wiser

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I am a wedding planner by day (and a mirad of other things by night), and while I try to spend most of my time talking about other things here on my blog, sometimes I just can't resist.  Sometimes, work and life just get mixed in together.  

Over the past couple years, I've attended a lot of weddings.  I've been present as guest, planner, and as a member of the wedding party.  I've been to expansive, glamorous $300,000 weddings and intimate , budgeted backyard affairs.  I've worked up close and personally with people's families and witnessed a lot of unfortunate situations.  I'd like to draw from that and offer a little kind advice.  These tips should apply to guests, family members, wedding party, and bride & groom alike.

1.  It's not about you.

That's right.  Are you in a big white gown? No? Then shush. The day is not about you and it's not about your agenda. I don't care if you're bosom buddies with the bride or one of the groom's "bros," this is the Bride and Groom's day. If you're there as a guest, blend in and have fun. If you're there as a family member, be supportive and loving, no matter what happens. You can always duke it out after they get back from their honeymoon. If you're there as a member of the wedding party, be attentive and do whatever the heck your Bride or Groom needs you to do. By agreeing to be an attendant, you should expect to "attend" to things and have responsibilities. And be responsibilities, I mean more than just showing up to the party. Don't say yes to "Will you be my bridesmaid?" if you aren't prepared to put forth a little effort. BUT . . . If you're the Bride or Groom, keep reminding yourself - it's just about the two of you. No matter what drama arises, try to let it go as the ceremony begins and remember: this only happens once!

2.  Don't get wasted.

There is never a worse time to be the sloppy drunk. I've seen it all, from vomiting into the bushes to broken stemware on the dance floor, but regardless . . . falling off your 6-inch stilettos isn't attractive, neither is taking off your shirt and "helicoperting" it over your head. I once saw an intoxicated guest walk his even more intoxicated girlfriend out to their car and put her inside to "sleep it off" because she couldn't stand on her own. What?? Drink and have fun, but be responsible. Marriage is to some a sacred ceremony, after all, not a bar crawl. And as the married couple - well, don't you want to remember the actual memories you're "making?" :)

3.  Feel honored to be there.

Whether you're a 3rd cousin or the Bride's twin sister, you made the guest list. For one reason or another, your presence was requested at this special event. Treat it as an honor, and don't be judge-y or bitch and moan. If it feels like an obligation, stay home. But if you do show, thank the Bride & Groom for inviting you and thank their families for hosting the event. Be a polite and courteous guest. Be a helpful extended family member or wedding partier. Set your own agenda aside, and enjoy the love that has brought everyone together on this day.

4.  Be conscious of people's spending limits.

No one wants to be put in a position where they have to draw the line and say "I'm sorry, I can't afford that." Especially when they know it's probably important to you (the host), that they be there. Be conscious of your friends, their incomes and expenses, and don't demand too much of them financially.  This applies to all angles. On your registry - make plenty of less expensive selections that single guests can afford. For the wedding party, keep in mind they not only have to buy a dress/rent a tux for the happy occasion, and often cross the country to get there, but they also have to foot the bill for the engagement showers and bachelorette/bachelor parties. It's rather tactless to invite the same people to multiple events, as it implies you expect them to bring you multiple gifts.  Your wedding shouldn't feel like a burden to anyone, least of all to you.

5.  Be conscious of people's limits.  Period.

Everyone has one. Vendor's should be perfect, but mistakes do happen. Family members are going to make faux pas in awkward situations. The Bride and Groom are probably going to overlook something, like inviting your significant other. A wedding day is a combination of some of the most extreme emotions people feel in their lives. It is the end of so many things and the beginning of so many others. It requires organizing usually a very large group of people, some there for fun and others there to perform a service, and that usually means a great deal of stress: tempers might flare and emotions will overflow. As a Bride or Groom, don't ask too much of any one person. Spread out the requests and favors amongst your closest friends and family members, don't be too demanding of one friend or one parent. Give them the chance to enjoy your day with you. As a member of the wedding party or family, remember that on top of managing a complicated day, the Bride and Groom are dealing with the full spectrum of emotions as they ready to make a staggering commitment to each other. Try to forgive them if they are a little abrasive or impatient with you. People have limits. Try to be conscious of them. And bottom line?  Let things go.

I like things in fives, otherwise my sixth item for this list would be - of course -

(6. Hire a Wedding Planner.)
Many of the above things can be avoided, or at least well-managed, but a competent planner. A good planner does make the wedding all about the Bride & Groom, while making the families and friends feel pretty special, too. A good planner keeps an eye out for those overly rambunctious guests, ensures  the bartenders pour responsibly, and that everyone gets on the shuttle home safely at the end of the night. A good planner does feel honored to be there - even as the hired help - because they  understand the magnitude of the day. And if a planner has limits, you should never see them.

Dog Days

As always, today I'm over at Sunday Hatch for Fridays with Friends.  Today we're talking about how Mr Dog came to be Our Dog.  Check it out, 'cause he's so cute!

Let there be Light

Roughly 10 years ago, I visited my friend Christina at her family's home in San Marcos, TX.  We were, er,  Juniors in high school, perhaps?  I apparently (no personal recollection of this happening) admired two wall sconces she had in her bedroom, which she had fashioned out of antique wire cage light covers.

They looked something like the picture above, only she had the cage open at the bottom, and had flipped them upside down, from what you see here, to hold votive candles.  I thought it was brilliant, at least that's what she tells me now.  Again, I don't remember any of this first hand, but apparently I raved about them.  That Christmas, I gave Christina a gift, and in return Christina tried to give me one of her wire "sconces."  I refused, insisting that she then wouldn't have a pair, and they needed to stay together.  This is testimony to how awesome I must have thought they were, because I'm a pretty selfish person and usually when someone offers me something I want, I take it.  But if I wouldn't allow her to get rid of them, that's saying something.

Christina has felt badly about this for 10 years now.  The fact that I gave her a gift, and I didn't allow her to give me one in return has bothered her ever since.  This is just testimony to her generous nature, and attention to fairness, because she is still trying to give me things today.  Luckily for us both, a few days ago, she finally got the chance to unburden her guilt.

Since that day, Christina has been looking for another set of these wire bulb cages to make it up to me.  I had long forgotten we ever had that encounter, but had myself been hunting the past few years for something similar to use in our home.  I really love accenting with industrial looking pieces.  They have character, without being too prissy, and it works in old and modern homes alike.  I also try to be conscientious of not making my home too girlie, for Tim's sake, and touches of steel and exposed wiring certainly help with that!  (I might have to devot a whole separate post about my love of the industrial.)

I've seen multiple versions of this popping up all over at places like West Elm and Anthropologie.

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Do you see that price tag?  There was no way I wanted to shell out that much for just ONE of these babies.  Plus, these really belong in a group, as shown above, to have the full effect.  That would have been $600 to get the Anthropologie look.  West Elm has a different take on this, and I had almost settled on buying it, but it just felt too big for our current home, and again... the price tag.

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So funny how life makes complete circle around you sometimes.  Christina and I made plans to get together a few days ago and she kept saying she had something for me.  As we were running around town I happened to start talking about this industrial pendant that West Elm carried, and how I was thinking about buying, how much I loved that exposed bulb look, etc.  She just started laughing.  And then she told me the story I just told you.  Seriously?  I couldn't believe my luck!

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The cages above are almost identical to the ones she had for me, and that "look" is what I was going for as I hunted down the other pieces.  Also thanks to Christina, I located the Edison style bulbs (these are not energy efficient, but create a pleasant glow which is important when you're not shading it in anyway) at West Elm.  They were $15.00 which seemed a bit steep.  I also found cloth covered black pendant cord sets there, for $30 a piece, which seemed lucky.  Since the cords were going to be exposed all the way up to the ceiling and down the wall, I didn't want a cheap plastic cord set.  So for $90 and a bit of effort, I ended up with two new pendant lights over my dinning room table.  Of course, if this old house had wiring up at the ceiling, the "pendants" would look much better without a lot of extra cordage.  But, for us, it will work for now.

And clearly it is time we invested in a halfway decent camera.

I love when things in my home have a great story and remind me every day of people in my life.