Oh the things that winter brings... isn't it IRONIC that my favorite time of year is also usually the time of year filled with the most drama? Or is it just that the bleak backdrop seems to enhance emotions, draw up memories, and exaggerate our responses to everything?
This is my favorite time of year, despite the drama. And it isn't wholly due to the Holidays, although I do enjoy the gatherings and the food, and occasional merriment (in my family it is hit and miss). I suppose my melancholy and theatrical side is fueled by how easily you can romanticize anything when it's cold outside. Oh, if only Texas got snow... then my imagination would be in real Heaven.
For example, here I am in my pajamas, sipping Sprite on the sofa, under a soft blanket with my pup, and I'm just happy to be alive. I spent roughly 5 hours yesterday pouring the insides of my stomach out to the porcelain god, thanks to some stomach flu. And that was on top of the seasonal cold or influenza that I had contracted just days before. The last four days of my life have been somewhat miserable. Yesterday.... oh, yesterday.... I wanted to die. I love that about stomach flu -- you go through so many ridiculous emotions in a matter of minutes. Complete pain and suffering (which at the time you think couldn't be worse), trying to stay strong, giving in to the demand, humbled by your lack of control over yourself, temporarily filled with utter relief, and then your poor body goes through the whole damn thing again in less than 30 minutes. Then as soon as it's over you feel so entirely better, like a brand new baby, a cleansed sinner...It seems almost miraculous. I just wanted to jump up and clean the whole house.
I also appreciate this time, because I feel like I wait for it for 9 months or so. I get about three months in to a new year and I'm ready for a do-over. That's probably because I'm a tad OCD and if things aren't going perfectly, I want to start again. Three months into 2011 I had just been married. While I was happy to be married.... well, no.... I take that back... I didn't want a do-over in that case. I was just relieved it was over. However, the previous two and a half months could have gone better. Yep, I wanted those back. But I digress.... I love not only the holidays, but the New Year. I like a fresh start. Of course, it's only symbolic, but that's why we celebrate these things....we need some marker to remind us all that the other side of whatever it is we're going through or experiencing has the potential to be so much better.
And I suppose that's my point. Sometimes it's a 24 hour thing... sometimes it's 3-4 months...but you can always have a fresh start. As Anne of Green Gables once said, "isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it yet?"
Hopefully my tomorrow includes solid foods.