Thursday, May 10, 2012

Small Things v.2

Ironically the last time I wrote a Small Things post, it was the day of a large thunderstorm.  Here I am again, inspired by the coziness that rain brings to a small home.  The windows are open.  There's a cool fresh breeze blowing straight through the house.  Everything outside looks clean and green. 

Talking about things I'm grateful for is possibly one of the best things I can do for myself.  My natural temperament is one of discontent.  I was ragged on growing up for always being negative, critical, and somewhat of a debbie downer.  In high school and college years, that trait became known as bitchy or sarcastic, and luckily for me... a little bit cooler.  It was my persona, if you will.  My senior year of university, something in me changed.  I had to be hopeful for the future.  I couldn't afford not to be hopeful, otherwise I wouldn't have anything to hold on to going forward.  I was so full of mixed emotions nearing the end of my final term, and all of that started to brim over.  I began to count my blessings.  The first one I counted after graduation was being invited on an amazingly fun road trip to California, where I met the mister.

Feeling blessed doesn't come naturally for me.  I struggle with nasty things like envy and selfishness.  I look at other people's lives and wonder why I didn't have it so easy.  There are a lot of things I want.  Things that I don't have, can't have, possibly never will have.  I have to remind myself constantly that I have much that others do not have, and never will.  By the world's standards, my life has been easy peasy.  I have to work at recognizing blessings.  I'm learning.

Some days, feeling blessed comes more easily that others.  Endorphins help.  Cheery people help.  Good food helps.  Chocolate helps. :)  Today was one of those days.  I did nothing out of the ordinary.  I trained.  I ran errands.  I came home to a happy dog and a husband working from our living room, rather than his office.  And I did some laundry.  But I was perfectly content: getting to wear my wellies and gather our two eggs for the day from the hens, sitting on the porch swing and chatting with my mom, eating a juicy peach, folding all that laundry.

Feel blessed, my friends.  I do.

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