Thursday, June 16, 2011

Honesty is my Policy

This is the problem with blogging.  You shouldn't blog unless you have something interesting and worthy of writing about.  If you don't blog, however, you lose your audience.  Which is why a lot of bloggers end up blogging about really dumb stuff.  Read on for examples.

A few days ago I got into my steaming, sweltering hot car to run an errand.  Then I proceeded to put up the windshield sunscreen to protect myself from the blazing sun, only to realize . . .  well, it's awfully hard to drive like that.  Later, I tangled myself up in 100 feet of clothesline that I was trying to hang in our back yard, all the while praying my neighbors were employed for regular work hours and weren't at home to watch my ridiculousness.  Yesterday, I returned the Netflix movies to the post office, completely forgot I had mailed them, suggested watching one to Tim that evening, and then didn't realize I'd made the trip until I couldn't find them anywhere.

Do you ever feel like the older you get, the more stupid you become?

I distinctly remember a time when I FELT SMART.  Of course, it was in college.  I was studying my booty off and learning new vocab words and raising my hand to answer questions.  Now most of the time when someone asks me a question I'm not paying attention the first time, and when they repeat themselves I often don't understand them, so I have to ask for a third chance.  I've gotten really amazing at giving the blank stare.  Sometimes I even tell people I'm hard of hearing, so they take pity on me.

Really the only thing I have going for me anymore is honesty.  I'm not afraid to tell people I'm pretty stupid.  Do I use my iPhone for simple math?  Yes.  Do I forget what I'm saying mid-sentence?  Sure do.  But . . . I can make your house look real pretty!  I can plan your wedding to a "T"!  Hire Me!  Honesty is my policy!

Hopefully by tomorrow morning I will have forgotten I wrote this post at all.


  1. um that was hilarious. I thought about how glad I am that people only get to see about 1/16th of the stupid things I do.

  2. i thank God everyday for that. sometimes i don't say it out loud, but i always think it.